” I will just get this, this and this done and then I will get straight onto it….”
How many times have you found yourself saying this or some other version of it, if your anything like me it can be more often than it should. Working from home has many benefits but also sneaky traps. With the kids at school its a great time to just get those few odd jobs done or maybe its cleaning the house knowing it will stay clean for longer than 5 minutes. Or maybe its the housework that is patiently waiting, and TV has grabbed your attention, even though your not really interested in the show your watching but hey why not broaden your TV viewing horizons. The problem in these instances is although you are busying your mind, you aren’t actually moving towards your long term vision or your goals?
Generally the answer to this question is a simply a direct “NO”. So why is it that we allow ourselves to become so wrapped up in the housework and other odd jobs. The answer to that lies within your old habits and behaviours. In the end we know we are procrastinating, or putting off that which is actually more important and the sneaky reason behind it isn’t so much self sabotage, or keeping ourselves stuck in the same old everyday, it’s because of fear.
You will never get rid of fear, but your tolerance level will increase every time you challenge it.
Now the funny thing with fear is that you can never get rid of it. Fear is important to have as it still to this day as it encourages us make decisions which ensure we survive to see another day, but in saying this, this is exactly why it can also be a problem. The issue these days isn’t a dinosaur chasing us but the fear of things such as failure, not being enough, not being worthy, not being accepted and not being loved. These tap into our emotions and in turn can render us motionless. At this point we usually make the decision to simply move away from those feelings and turn towards something safer which provides that same or similar feeling of accomplishment, such as a clean house and going the extra mile to do the windows as well. Upon completion, we still get the opportunity to pat ourselves on the back for a job well done, but deep down you know that what you were truly chasing and wanting is still waiting for you to do, bring on the emotional fear once again.
There is only really only two ways in which to remove this emotional fear, 1. Give up and forget about it or
2. Just do it.
You are probably thinking in relation to the housework procrastination that its not so much the fear which is causing you to not want to take action but just being lazy or unmotivated. Funnily enough just this thinking will tell me that generally your health and fitness isn’t where you want it to be, you haven’t set yourself any significant goals, life has become pretty routine and dare I say boring. Unfortunately in all circumstances where procrastination lives fear also resides. When fear appears in relation to goals or desired outcomes it is generally a fear of failure or potentially success will be the most likely cause of the procrastination. As much as this can be a hard pill to swallow it is not the end and you do not have to feel stuck. Below are some helpful tips and information that might just help you change your view on fear.
Fear is generally a trend
As previously discussed the same fears filter through into other areas of our lives. When we fall into the habit of ignoring fear and therefore move away from the thing our heart secretly desires, our brain quickly realises that by utilising this strategy of avoidance gives us a temporary high/we feel good, so it doesn’t identify that this strategy doesn’t actually serve us at all. We are designed to want to feel good all the time even if it means lying to ourselves. Our brain is very much doing us a favour, we get to keep feeling happy for the time being but unfortunately this doesn’t work for the long term, eventually all that avoidance tends to hit us like a wrecking ball, for most people this means entering the phase of the mid life crisis. Imagine if you never needed to buy the leathers and motorbike!!!
Start looking to the long term
When we start to change our focus from what makes us feel good now, to what will bring us long term satisfaction it changes the decisions that we make and the actions that we take, even when it means facing our fears. Technology has grown and integrated itself into all areas of our lives meaning that everything is available to us at a click of a button, no longer do we even have to wait until next week for a show, with streaming we can sit for hours and watch an entire series. These advances in technology although incredible are leaving us wanting things right now. No longer do we wait for a letter or even to be home to speak to someone on the phone. Technology has changed our lives for the better but not in every area, especially when it comes to goals and even success in anything from business to weight-loss. These take time and commitment to ourselves for the long term for a long term goal, unfortunately you can’t wake up tomorrow 10kgs lighter. Therefore with instant gratification becoming the new normal we tend to give up on ourselves after just a few short days or weeks if we aren’t seeing the results we desire and this done consistently eats at our self worth.
As I previously mentioned we can not remove fear from our lives, alternatively the best way in which to overcome it is to head directly for it. We can use the fear in which to feed our courage and therefore become virtually unstoppable. What is also really important to understand is that it is only through facing fear that we can experience courage. The more you face the uncertainty which fear creates and all the self doubt it brings to the table, can you truly change where your current fear tolerance is, especially the more you do it. The more you face your fears the more you will realise and learn that fear is just an indication that you are entering into something you have not done or experienced before and its ok to feel that fear, but you also learn that what you are facing isn’t going to kill you and worst case you learn something else. Be ok with the idea of failing because failing isn’t actually failure (Read more on this in my blog Why it’s ok to fail).
Don’t be afraid of fear itself, all that will ever come of it is potential success or an opportunity to learn and grow and all of those sound like a wonderful thing to me. Get out of your own way and move towards your fear because no worthwhile journey was ever easy.
If you require any assistance from any of our coaches to help you connect the dots to where your procrastination is deriving from contact us today using the below link. We look forward to working with you to move through your fears in order for you to reach your full potential.