There is definitely a trend hitting the world in relation to developing happiness. It’s alarming to think about the number of people everyday getting around, who don’t feel connected to their life.
We live in a society which is socially (as in person) disconnected, ridiculously busy and with no end in sight, it is no wonder people are struggling to live a life that truly makes them happy. So many people have given up on setting and working towards achieve their goals, therefore there is nothing to drive them forward in life. Time is poor, life seems either too short or awfully long as they fill their life with unhealthy pleasures. I get it, life definitely has its moments when it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, but do we really have to sabotage ourselves?
The long and short of it all, is that we are simply not coping emotionally, mentally and spiritually anymore. It is why mental health numbers are on the increase, depression, anxiety and even suicide are ever increasing, especially in our younger generation. It really is starting to become pretty scary when you begin to forecast these figures forward. This is why the mental health industry is currently booming, amazing for me in my life coaching and healing business but for the general population this is a very sad reality.
Ironically, all the answers we seek are already within us, but it’s a case of looking backwards. When it comes to our emotional health our conversations matter more than words on a pretty picture, but with the growth of technology now we have pretty quotes to share. The spoken word is heard less and imagery is seen more. When was the last time you saw a quote which changed the way you saw a situation? When was the last time you had a conversation which changed you?
The problem with these quotes or sayings is that unless you take the time to absorb the words and consider what they mean for you, understand the story behind them, their full meaning may simply pass you by. It is like putting the blinkers on, you only see part of the story. In doing this you are by default turning away much of what is possible for you, including potentially living a happy, fulfilled life.
There are a few things we can learn from those who have gone before us and new information we can add to that knowledge. We now know we cannot hold onto our thoughts and feelings indefinitely but what we have forgotten is the importance of being with others. As animals we require interaction, we may believe ourselves to be the superior species but without out mental health in order, how strong are we truly and a basic need of the human spirit is face to face interaction.
“Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do first for the other fellow then for ourselves”. Helen Keller
Improving the level of happiness you experience in your life can be done, but like all good things it won’t happen overnight. Re-training your brain for happiness will take a commitment to yourself to make a new decision each and every moment of the day, to choose something different.
In choosing happiness you’re making the decision to embrace all the new possibilities which become available to you. If you are living just a fraction of the potential joy which is available to you, then with each step your life will positively change for the better in more ways than you may imagine. Below are some tips of how you can re-train your brain and improve the amount of happiness in your life.
Gratitude is one of these terms which gets thrown around quite regularly today but when you truly embrace it, this on its own can fundamentally change your life. If there was a magic happiness key then this would be it. When you can be grateful to the point that your heart feels full and your overwhelmed with a deep sense of love and thanks, then you’re experiencing true gratitude.
Sometimes by simply understanding more about what you’re grateful for, you begin to unlock the full capacity of experiencing gratitude. For example to be grateful for a tree seems good on the surface, but when you start to consider that you wouldn’t be alive to create the life of your dreams if the trees didn’t exist, then you start to understand the significant impact of the humble tree. It doesn’t complain about having to work harder due to an increase in pollution, it simply goes about its day creating oxygen for us to breathe and therefore live.
Another example of something we often take for granted is our hearts, brains and lungs. These organs go about their ‘work’ day in, day out generally without missing a beat (pardon the pun) but when was the last time you considered that they allow you to live in health and to wake each day, what will you choose to do with that day?
If you could only have the things you were grateful for the previous day, what would you be grateful for today to create your life tomorrow?
So what else can you be grateful for? I’ll make it easy for you, there is your home, loved ones, your job and what it allows you to do, without your job life would be much more difficult financially. There is also your car, your legs, your hands, clothes, a beautiful sunset, great friends. To put it simply you can be grateful for absolutely everything and anything.
With all of this said the most important thing to do is to actually be grateful everyday as many times as you possibly can. To get into the habit of it I suggest keeping a notebook by your bed and each morning write 3 things to be grateful for as soon as you wake. Write them down before you even leave the bed, aiming to have different things every day. The key here is to also feel/experience the gratitude. Even during a horrible day there are always 3 things you can be grateful for. It is in these more challenging times that the true act of living a life of gratitude really comes prevalent as you train your brain to see the good in life and not the bad. I am often seen as the person who sees something good in everyone and everything, this is not by chance, I have trained my brain to do this and you can too.
Developing self love can seem more complicated than we initially think, this is due to the complexity of our lives at times. For the majority of us the feeling of self love is created by finding ways in which to serve others. As much as this can feel wonderful we must remember to first fill our own cup then serve from our overflow. For some this will require you to give away old habits of putting others needs before your own, or simply embracing how amazing you are right now. True self love initially is a winding path of us accepting ourselves as we are in the moment. One quote which has helped me immensely during times of growth is “If I was meant to be anywhere else I would be there already”. This quote alone allows acceptance of all that you are in this very moment, but do not mistake this for staying stagnant where you are. If you are wanting to grow and improve your life it will mean letting go and accepting that which is your current experience and embracing the uncertainty of the future and allowing it to be what it will be.
When fear lives in your life, you are living in the future. When Anxiety lives in your life, you are living in the past. True joy and happiness comes from living in the present moment.
Let go of your limiting thoughts and behaviours
This is actually quite a big topic and differs for each individual based on their upbringing, personal experiences and expectations. So to generalise for the purpose of providing full information, this is about self awareness. It is through knowing who we are and what we want to do, that we can create goals and dreams for ourselves. Even your biggest dreams are but a series of steps from where you are to where you want to be.
It’s in this desire to drive our lives forward that we come up against the old stories we tell ourselves as to why we can’t have or be something. Achievement is all but a series of steps and when we can get out of our own way the entire world opens up as a possibility. Be aware that even deciding to not take action towards your dreams is a decision to remain in the life you currently reside in.
As with all things in life, everything is a choice. Once you understand the origins of your life stories which you have collected about yourself, can you make the decision to let go of all the meanings you have given them, this is where coaching weaves its magic and you see rapid transformation in your life.
Not taking yourself to seriously can really allow for you to express who you are and want to be. For some reason we all want to be seen as the best version of ourselves that we feel others want us to be, which lends itself to us living a lie of masks and not truly embracing all that we truly are and who we are meant to be.
Through working on our self love and acceptance we can begin to understand who we are and step into this much greater version of ourselves. So often we are fearful of the greatness we can be and what that could actually mean. But imagine if we all embraced our individuality and the fun, creative, phenominal person you have been hiding away. Imagine if your true self is what the world and others are actually needing, whether in just your friendship groups or the world itself.
Simply Make the Choice
If everything in life is a choice and happiness is but an emotion, we as humans have the capacity to choose to be happy. So often we sit in a place where we blame everyone and the situations around us for our current experiences. But in reality all this is truly doing is keeping you stuck. Through forgiveness and again acceptance you are able to make the decision to stop allowing those not so desirable situations to rule your life. In the process you will also take control of your life which is really empowering. You are in control of how you experience each and every moment of every day, you can choose to be sad and bitter or you can choose to embrace all that you are and have the capacity to be and truly live the life of your dreams.
Combine all of this and you are bound to experience happiness and once you do, you can simply choose it each and every day and create your ultimate life.
Although life throws its challenges, they’re ultimately meant for us to grow and learn from, in order for us to step into the next even more exceptional version of ourselves. There was a quote I read recently which sums this up beautifully. When you replace, “Why is this happening to me?” with “What is this trying to teach me?”, it allows us to grow from the situation rather than coming from a place of seeing ourselves as a victim. Being a victim is really limiting and takes away all of your personal power so I strongly encourage you to take control of all of your life and watch the world shift around you.
The world is your oyster, go live it and create the life of your dreams.
If you are interested in learning more about coaching and how it can help you achieve a greater sense of happiness in your life contact us through our website and see if we are the right fit for you. We cannot wait to assist you in taking your life to the next level.
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